It's your life, so live it.

Who do you listen to? Your parents, your friends, or your heart? What truly matters to you in life? Whose words do you hang onto and cherish? I try to listen to my parents and I always seek out the advice of my friends but what truly matters to ME is my heart. If I don't listen to my heart then I will never know what it is that I want. Friends are great and family will always be there for you but the person who truly knows you the best is yourself. Why would you doubt what you want? Why would you question what is going through your head? They are your thoughts and your ideas so why wonder if they are what you truly want. No one can tell you what your life is going to be like. You can only tell them what you hope it will turn out to be and the only person that can ever make it come true, is you.

Live in the Moment

Hello again!


So I just got home from an amazing weekend. On Saturday, I decided to drive down to Cedar City Utah to see Randy and some of my friends. I made this decision completely on a whim and had the best time. We watched movies, took pictures, went on adventures to Walmart, pretty much just had an all around incredible weekend. It was worry free and I could just let go and relax.


When I am with Randy, because we only have a limited amount of time, I constantly find myself worrying about the goodbye and what is going to happen when we have to part. As hard as I try to force it out of my head, it is always still there. One thing Randy always tells me is to stay in the moment, to stay where you are and not worry about what is going to happen because right now all that matters is the moment that you are in.


I have thinking alot about what he said. How much time do I spend a day wondering what tomorrow is going to bring or how long it is going to be until something else happens in my life? At least half of my day is spent worrying about tomorrow. True, there can be some thoughts about the future, but why constantly spend all of your time thinking about something that is going to take just as much time to get here if you weren't thinking about it. I waste so much time worrying about tomorrow or what is going to happen later, that I miss everything that is going on now. For example, I was so concerned with saying goodbye to Randy that I completely missed out on just being with him because we were both so concerned that I was upset. That is not how I want to remember my life and my time with the ones that I love. I don't want to have to look back and wish that I wasn't upset so that I could spend that actual time that we have together in  a good mood. Why waste your time today worrying about tomorrow? We already know that it is going to come. It is already tomorrow somewhere in the world so why are we so concerned with worrying about what is to come when we should be enjoying each and every precious moment that is given to us. I don't want to look back and say that I didn't spend enough time living and too much planning. "Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans."


Make yourself a promise, or even a goal. Stop and just enjoy life for at least 5 minutes of everyday.




Don't you want to be able to look back and say "Damn I had fun"?

Birthday Time!

Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday Dear Booboo! Happy Birthday to you!!!!
Tomorrow is Randy's birthday! He is turning 19! My baby is celebrating his birthday and I am so excited. I think I am even more excited than he is. To him, birthdays are just another day but to me, this is a big day. He is finally 19 and we are finally the same age. :)
Unfortunately, I can't be there. The one day that is probably the biggest day of the year for him, and I can't be there to celebrate. No birthday kisses or hugs. I cant send him anything because I am too poor and I can't see him this weekend because I am working. Sometimes things get in the way and it isn't always fair but he knows that I love him. I still can't believe that his birthday is already here. This marks almost 6 months that we have been together.

I remember when we first started dating, I would constantly hold it over his head that the was the baby in the relationship, since I was going to be turning 20 and he was still only 18. Now my Booboo is older and I cant tease him about it anymore. At least until my birthday and then he will continue to be the baby once more. It doesn't feel like he is the younger one. He is constantly there for me and when I am down he is always there to cheer me back up and get me back on my feet. Sometimes it feels like I am the baby in the relationship because he is always taking care of me. I can't be there for his birthday so I told him that he doesn't have to be there for mine. "The hell I don't" is exactly what he said to me. My birthday is in the middle of the week and I have class till 7pm and he still insists that he will be there. He loves me so much and even though I can't be there for his birthday, I hope that he knows how much I want to be and how much I love him.
Happy Birthday Booboo. You are amazing and thank you for loving me so much. <3

Me Me Me

Is it OK to focus on me once in a while? Is it OK to worry about me and do things for me, not for someone else. 

When you get ready in the morning, who do you get ready for? Who do you dress cute for and put your make-up on for? Do you do it for yourself, so that you can feel good about yourself? Or do you do it for someone else? It is OK to want to look good for someone or to want to be noticed by someone because of how you look but if you only do everything for someone else, then you will never be happy. 

If you are constantly focused on someone else then you will never focus on you and worry about what you need. 

I have been neglecting me. Everything I do is for someone else. I never think about me anymore. When I get up, that is the first thought that runs through my head. When I get dressed, I think about what someone else will think of it, not about how I feel in it. 

I am sick of never thinking about me anymore. True, some people do take it to the extreme and focus on them and think that the world revolves around them, but there does need to be some self concern in life. 

If I never think about myself and how I feel, I will wake up one day and completely have lost my personality and who I am. I won't have a life of my own and I won't have any ambition in life. And to be honest, who wants someone that has no life or personality and has nothing to talk about? I don't, so I refuse to be the lifeless person that I have been. I will stop obsessing over something else and start focusing on me.